Role Reversal
by FadedLace
Summary: Just why did Sanzo become involved with Goku? Sanzo spends a sleepless night pondering. Oneshot, shounen ai: 39, a hint of 58


Title: Role-Reversal

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or 39. Deal.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: "Adult themes" (aka lust and suggestive things), shounen ai/yaoi (not sure which...XD), "drug references" (aka smoking and/or cigarettes), 39 (aka SanzouGoku), random "suggested" (but not really) 58 (aka GojyoHakkai)

Author's note: THE PLOT BUNNIES LOVE ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, this story bears resemblance to a certain fic by a certain someone…I'm not sure if you'll notice…

Sanzo sat on the bed, his third cigarette between his fingers, the stale smell of smoke lingering in the air. He placed the cigarette on his lips and took a slow drag, then stared at the sleeping form whose head currently rested in his lap. As he stared at the innocent form, a thought wandered into his mind.

Why had he gotten involved with Goku in the first place?

It couldn't possibly have been for his looks, Sanzo just wasn't that kind of person. And besides, Goku wasn't exactly what you'd call "dashing". Sure, he had a nice complexion and he was well proportioned, but besides that, he was rather ordinary. And if Sanzo had a "type", he didn't think it would include Goku. No, it couldn't be about external beauty, Sanzo decided, inhaling again from his cigarette. It had to be something else.

It wasn't that Sanzo needed companionship, either. He would definitely rather be alone than with an annoying, whiney monkey, and he had to spend most of his waking hours with the rest of the party, anyway. Lonely was not a word Sanzo was acquainted with. He sighed and stubbed out his cigarette, annoyed at his mental dilemma, but did not light a new one.

Another idea made its way into Sanzo's head, one that he did not like. Was it possible that Sanzo was jealous of Gojyo and Hakkai? He shook the thought. He wouldn't envy _them_, what with their disgusting kisses and loud noises in the middle of the night. It just wasn't in his nature.

Sanzo absent-mindedly stroked Goku's hair as he continued thinking. Another thought struck him, worse than the previous. Lust. Sanzo didn't particularly think he would lust after anyone, not to mention an annoying, bickering, whining male monkey with whom Sanzo had spent every waking hour for the past few years. No, he decided after a minute of thought, winding his fingers in Goku's hair, he definitely wasn't in lust with Goku.

That thought lead into the next, which Sanzo turned down immediately. He did not choose to become involved with Goku because of love. Sanzo was most certainly in love with Goku; that was not the question. It was because Sanzo loved Goku so much that he would not be associated with him. After all, most of the youkai in the world were after Sanzo for his skin or his scriptures, and the last thing Sanzo wanted was for Goku to get injured because of him.

Sanzo sighed, shifting slightly under the weight of his sleeping lover. No more ideas came to him, but the lack of reasons did not give him any satisfaction. He felt odd, as if he wouldn't quite be whole until he knew the answer to his question.

Suddenly, Goku rolled over in his sleep, smiling joyfully. "Sanzo…" he muttered.

Sanzo froze, his thoughts momentarily dissolved at Goku's mention of his name in his sleep.

Goku, still smiling, repeated, "Sanzo! The paper airplanes!"

Sanzo was instantly lost in Goku as he returned to stroking the monkey's hair. "And where will we fly them?" he asked softly.

Goku smiled brightly. "Across a blue sky!"

Sanzo smiled nostalgically. "That's right…" he whispered as his thoughts drifted to his late master. He could almost see Koumyou smiling at him, at Kouryuu, handing him the orange origami paper. Koumyou had been everything to him. He had cared for him, loved him, protected him…

And then all at once, it hit him. His_ master_ was the reason why he had become Goku's lover.

Because he was the master now, and, more than anything, he wanted to protect Goku.


End file.
